Family Day One Year Later

Its hard to belive that it was just one year ago today that we met our beloved Vivienne Chao, Ivie to those who know and love her. If you want to read our original posts on the day they are here and here along with our pictures here




What a difference a year makes. On Family Day, Ivie was this tiny scared little baby.



Today she is a self-confident little girl. She loves to dance, jump, read, run and play. She is speaking in small sentences like "More please hot dog mommy", "No bite people" (we've had a bit of an issue there) and "Get down kitty". She recognizes letters and when she sees writing in books she will start to recite the alphabet song (well as much of it as she can remember). She has also started memorizing some of her favorite books and can recite parts of them along with me when I read.




She loves spending time with our family. She can't wait to see her Amas (grandma) and Bacas (grandpa). In fact when I told her that Ama and Baca G and Ama F were coming over tonight she said "two Amas". She also loves to play with her cousins and will ask about Alex and Arie.



She loves going to the Zoo to see all the animals. Her favorite parts are the playground in the kids area, the Family Farm (with the cows and bunnies) and the Zoo train. She loves yelling "Choo Choo" and "All Aboard" at the top of her lungs.




Another favorite activity is dancing. Well really its more spinning around and hopping up and down. She will be hopping around to No More Monkeys or the Bunny Hop and decide that Scott and I should join her. She will say "Dance Mommy" and "Dance Daddy" and then grab our hands and jump some more.

She has just brought so much joy to our lives. It is hard to remember what our life was like without her. Tonight we will celebrate the day we became a family with our extended family. I look forward to many more anniversarys and to experiencing all the joy yet to come.

I'm a big girl now.

Our little baby is growing up. In the span of seven months Ivie has gone from not crawling to running, climbing and talking. The transition has been amazing.




She is a very curious little girl, always wanting to figure out things for herself. She loves exploring, especially where she is not supposed to go. She is fascinated by animals and loves looking at the bunnies and birds in our yard and at my parents house.



She is talking up a storm. We figure that she knows about 30 words but every day she comes up with another one. One day driving home we saw a bus and Ivie said bus. She now takes great pleasure in pointing out all busses. She knows all the sounds the animals make and is learning their names. Yesterday Scott was counting, he would say one and Ivie would say two etc.




I wish we could take credit for all of this but I think that she has learned most of this at her wonderful daycare center. Every day they have a theme like stars or squares. All of the activities will be centered around it, they will read books about it, play games related to it and have art projects too. Both my office and Scott's are covered with her art work. It is so much fun.




We were always told that girls from the south of China were spicy girls. I think that Ivie is extra spicy. She definitely has firmly held opinions about how things should be and lets us know when they don't go her way. For example she loves to walk down the sidewalk and look at all the houses. We will let her do it but she has to hold our hand. She doesn't think this is necessary and will crouch down and yank her hand away. As soon as she is free she'll start going again. Good thing we have a fenced in yard.




Everything about this whole process has been a blessing. We were very impatient when the wait times increased. But now we know that it was for a reason, we had to wait for our Ivie.

Time flies.

We have been home with Ivie now for 4 months. Its so funny because I can't remember a time when she wasn't in our lives. She will be 14 months old soon and has really turned into a toddler.

Her favorite activities are walking and carrying stuff. It doesn't matter what the stuff is as long as she can carry it. She will walk back and forth from room to room carrying one thing into the room and carrying something new out of it. I often think that if we didn't move it back for her she would rearrange the entire contents of our house to suit her whims. Now if only I could get her to rearrange the furniture.

Ivie also loves to help out. She will take the laundry out of the basket and hand it to me to fold. Of course then she has to take the folded clothes and put it back in the basket. The other day I found her wiping down a step in the basement with a tissue - just had to make sure it was clean.

She has been in daycare now for three weeks. She really seems to enjoy it. She is a very social child and loves to be around other people - especially kids. She clings a little in the morning when Scott drops her off but then is easily distracted by a toy or the other kids. When I come to pick her up in the evenings she gets a huge smile on her face and comes running to me, which makes it all worth while.

Happy Chinese New Year!



Well Ivie has progressed from walking to running in a very short order. She can now get where she wants to go even faster. But with the running comes the inevitable falls. Last week she fell and hit her face on the corner of a wall, she got a nice little red scrape on the left side of her face. Scott was standing right next to her and couldn't catch her. He was practically sick about it - I think if he could wrap her in bubble wrap he would do so.

I tried to explain to him that she wasn't hurt, she cried from the shock and then got up and started running again. I also told him that this was not the last time she would fall. In fact it was a miracle that we made it two weeks without a bump, bruise or scrape.



I think the old adage that "Your children raise you" is very true. Scott and I are constantly learning new things right along with Ivie.

I hope that everyone has a wonderful year of the Boar.

Hey I'm walking here ...

That is right Ivie is walking, a lot. She had taken steps before but on Monday she stood up on her own and just started walking. At first it wasn't very far but now she can walk the lenght of the basement all by herself without stopping.

Its so funny to see her walk. She usually has one or more toys in her hands so if she falls forward she can't break her fall. Luckily she usually sits down first. She has the typical drunken sailor walk, she sort of sways from side to side and definitely cannot walk a straight line.

So both grandmothers are going to have a lot of work trying to keep up with her while they watch her for the next two weeks. Mommy is back to work on Monday much to my chagrin - I am already having separation anxiety. Grandma Fensin will watch her in the mornings and Grandma Guolee will watch her in the afternoon. Ivie will start daycare on the 19th. I think she will enjoy it because she loves to be around other kids but we will see.

Back by popular demand . . .

Hello, everybody, Scott here on behalf of Team Fensin. We miss
everyone and hope all the babies and their families are happy as can
be. Nearly two weeks after our little girl turned the big 1.0, we
decided to post the following observations of first time parents.

1. Schedules Rock!!

It took us a little time (like, a month) but Ivie is finally on a
schedule that any army seargent would be proud of. Trying to
operate on whims and fancies didn't quite work for anyone. So, we
wake up, have a bottle, play, have breakfast, play, take a nap, wake
up, have a bottle, play, have lunch, play, take a short trip outside
somewhere, come home, take a nap, wake up, have a bottle, play,
welcome daddy home from work, play, have dinner, have a bath (every
other day), play, have a bottle, and go to sleep....at the same
times (roughly) every day. It made for a much happier transition.

2. "Toddling" Babies Can Get Anywhere

Like behind a couch, in the cats' food dishes, behind basement
piping, inside a toy chest, up two flights of stairs, in laundry
baskets full of laundry, etc., etc. It's quite exhausting following
around a toddler all the time, carrying her away from where she's
not supposed to be, and having her crawl back to that very same
spot, laughing the whole way. By 8:48 p.m. we're exhausted.

3. Mealtime Is More Often Than Not A Chore

When adults eat, the main purposes are (a) eating and (b) talking
about the day. When toddlers eat, the main purposes are (a) eating
as little as possible, (b) as slowly as possible, (c) making as much
noise as possible, and (d) making as big a mess--of high chairs,
oneself, and the floor--as possible. It's never a good sign when a
new parent is forced to bargain with a child--"Come on, Ivie, you
take one bite of this Apples and Chicken mush and Daddy will take
two bites"--when that child neither speaks nor understands English.

4. Desperation Acts Like Giving A Crying Baby An Empty Bottle To
Suck on For Comfort Is A Bad, Bad Idea

One day Ivie cried. And cried. And cried. We were desperate. We
gave her her empty bottle to hold onto. She shoved it in her mouth
and stopped crying. We figured, hey, what a great idea. We'll give
her the bottle to suck on when she's cranky. Great. Two months
later we're trying to wean her off the bottle. It's been a slow,
painstaking process, involving the very thing we were trying to
avoid in the first place...crying. But, we think we're making some
headway and Ivie will be weaned off the bottle soon. She's managing
to take some naps without it.

7. Be Very, VEry, VERy, VERY Nice To The Grandparents

Having ready, willing, and able babysitters is a must. We parents
need adult time out of the house and out of the vicinity of the
child every so often, even though we love Ivie desperately. Both
sets of grandparents have been tremendous in this regard.

8. Don't Give A Toddler Who Has Never Had Sugar Before A Huge Piece
Of Birthday Cake At Their First Birthday Party And Then Expect That
Toddler To Go To Sleep Before, Say, 1:30 In The Morning

Ughh.

Ivie is changing so much these days that we have decided to revive the blog and post more updates.

Day 14--The Final China Chapter--Nothing Left To Do But Bring Ivie Home

Today was a happy-sad day. On the one hand, our throats, appetites, and heads tell us it's time to come home. On the other hand, China has been especially gracious to us. We waited two years for these two weeks. And although the ultimate goal is to have Ivie home, part of us will mourn leaving Ivie's homeland. But, we take solace in knowing we will be back one day, to pick up baby #2 and to show Ivie the land where she was born.

Our last day in China started with a tour of Guangzhou City. We went to a Buddhist Temple first. It was incredibly solemn and serene despite all the people. Two days of every month there is an incense burning at the Temple. Today happened to be one of those days, so the Temple was filled with incense smoke. That and the overall air quality of the city made breathing a chore, but it was worth it. The Temple is actually several buildings and gardens, and one large pagoda. The pictures probably don't do it justice. There are several impressive Buddha statues, and we saw several monks walking the grounds welcoming the worshippers. The highlight of the Temple experience, however, was the "blessing of the babies." Our babies and their mothers took off their shoes, entered one of the Temple buildings ornate with three giant Buddha statues, everyone knelt down, and the babies were offered a blessing by one of the monks. It was quite a moving experience. It felt good knowing that Ivie's homeland had blessed her and wished her safe passage home and a happy and healthy life with us.

Our next stop on the city tour was a Provincial Arts and Crafts center, where we browsed through an impressive array of ivory carvings, porcelain wares, embroidery, and other, well, arts and crafts. We bought several more gifts for friends and family back home.

We then had some lunch and relaxed in our room. Man, we have gotten sick and tired of living out of a hotel room.

After that came another momentus occasion of our trip. We got on a bus and took a 40 minute ride to the U.S. Consulate in Guangzhou. The Consulate in my mind would be a majestic, ornate building with tall iron gates and armed personnel outside. Instead, the reality of the Consulate is that it doesn't look much different than your local DMV. The running joke was whether or not we could renew our license plates there to kill two birds with one stone. We went through security with our passports, had some paperwork examined by an official, and then listened to a speech delivered by the Assistant Consular General, who was in charge of the Adoptions Unit.

She told us that every American adopting a baby from China goes through this particular Consulate. In 2005 they processed Visas for approximately 8,000 babies. They are on pace to process that number again in 2006. She also told us that while the U.S. Government doesn't recognize dual citizenship, the Chinese government will and will see Ivie as a Chinese citizen. But, she warned, it is not advisable to travel on a Chinese passport because if she travels to China later on and a problem arises, she cannot rely on the U.S. Consulates or Embassy to help her out. She would be at the mercy of the Chinese system, which, needless to say, isn't as reliable. So, if Ivie wants to travel to China some day, she will travel on her U.S. passport and apply for a Chinese visa.

After the speech we all stood up and took an oath that the information we had given over the past two years had been accurate. We were then congratulated on the conclusion of the adoption process, and received Ivie's U.S. Visa, along with some other important documents. How this works is when we get to Chicago we go through the "foreigners" immigration line. The immigration official will review Ivie's documents. If he's satisfied, and there's no reason to think he won't be, he will stamp her paperwork and Ivie will be a U.S. citizen. We're sure tears will be involved--again. Now mind you this was a very momentus occasion and our little angle slept through it all.

We took the bus back to the hotel and took one last set of pictures of all the babies on those red couches. They are very cute. The babies sat still for about 4 seconds, then 2 babies started to cry, then Ivie started to slouch and then roll over the other babies. Very, very cute and funny.

We then had one last group dinner at the restaurant we ate at last night. It was a Thai restaurant, I think Renee told you. The food was the best we had had in China so far, so we decided to eat there again. Some great food, some hugs and goodbye's all around, and here we are, 9:00 p.m. Thursday night, packing our stuff and getting ready to leave at 6:00 a.m. tomorrow morning for 24 hours of travel fun. We're expecting the worst, but hoping for something better than that. But either way, we'll see all of you soon and look forward to many formal introductions of Vivienne Chao Fensin.

This will be our last post. It has been one heck of a journey. We wouldn't trade any of these moments for the world. These two weeks, and these two years, will be a lasting memory that we look forward to sharing with Ivie when she gets older. We are now looking at her sleeping soundly in her crib. We can't believe the journey is really over, after two years of paperwork, waiting, questions, frustration, and tears. But the more we think about it, the journey isn't really over--it's just beginning several new chapters, this time at home with our family and friends. Again, we pray daily for Ivie's birth parents, nanny, and foster family. May they take solace in knowing that Ivie has found a loving "forever family."

The first book we read when starting the adoption process was entitled "I Love You Like Crazy Cakes." It was a moving short illustrated story about a mother traveling to China to adopt a daughter. We cried when we read it. We now know why. We can't imagine loving someone more.